Its been almost 3 months since my broke up with my ex-boyfriend. We've been together for almost 3 years, and its kinda sad knowing that... well, we finally reach the end of the road.
What really makes me sad is that I'm totally drown into sadness, rolling in the deep, rolling and eating rolade (just kidding), and all those sad stuffs. I don't really show it because I'm just not that kind of girl. But deep down I feel soooo horrible.
I feel like something big and bad crash my heart into pieces and just left it like that. But, he's totally okay. Perfectly complete and fine. Safe and sound. Happy and... having fun with another girls. Already. It crash me more and worse.
I totally feels like its okay if i break my finger or something but my fingers cannot be broken because its too ellastic. Really.
It feels better if he just break my leg instead of breaking my heart that time. Because the pain is just out of my mind. I never thought it could be that hurt.
But one day, I woke up. I feel in love with him for unknown reason. I feel like his happiness is the most important thing that moment. It just feels okay if he really don't wanna be with me anymore, or whatever as long as it makes him happy. Finally for the first time, I crash my own heart to make someone really happy. I let him go. I cried. But I'm happy. I know that he moved on and I'm not. But I think that's love. When someone happiness is on top of your own.
I finally get it Mom. Thanks to that man who taught me what love is. Even thou it hurts as hell.
No matter how mad you are, or how horrible your condition is, you just can't stop loving those people who's happiness are more important than yours.
Even thou it means you have to struggle to see their smiles.
Now I get it. Thankyou so much. I love you. For no reason.
:)
